Okay, maybe not driveways. Let’s face it, the only quote you’re going to get with the word driveways in it will be from an actual driveway and paving contractor!

But they will be good I promise. Far too many lists of quotes on the internet aim to be the best by listing as many as they can find, regardless of the quality of the quotations themselves.

Funny Quotes

Okay, so let’s kick it off with the funny ones first:

America has drive-in movies, shops, restaurants, and even drive-in banks. What it needs now are more drive-in parking spaces. – Fred Allen

Do engine drivers, I wonder, eternally wish they were small boys? – Brian O’Nolan

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. – Albert Einstein

A critic is a man who knows the way but can’t drive the car. – Kenneth Tynan

I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy. – Mitch Hedberg

How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put ‘page 2.’ – Henny Youngman

My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive. – Rodney Dangerfield

I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away. – Phyllis Diller

Observational Quotes

It’s always interesting to read someone’s perspective on a subject:

Trying to predict the future is like trying to drive down a country road at night with no lights while looking out the back window. – Peter Drucker

Space isn’t remote at all. It’s only an hour’s drive away if your car could go straight upwards. – Sir Fred Hoyle

There nearly always is method in madness. It’s what drives men mad, being methodical. – G. K. Chesterton

Society drives people crazy with lust and calls it advertising. – John Lahr

Serious Quotes

And if you’re looking for inspiration to be a better person:

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. – Martin Luther King, Jr.

We need to steer clear of this poverty of ambition, where people want to drive fancy cars and wear nice clothes and live in nice apartments but don’t want to work hard to accomplish these things. Everyone should try to realize their full potential. – Barack Obama

Reflective Quotes

Nearing the end. How about a few reflections on life from a few famous people:

I praticed making faces in the mirror and it would drive my mother crazy. She used to scare me by saying that I was going to see the devil if I kept looking in the mirror. That fascinated me even more, of course. – Jim Carrey

When I sell liquor, it’s called bootlegging. When my patrons serve it on silver trays on Lake Shore Drive, it’s called hospitality. – Al Capone

When you first get money, you buy all these things so no one thinks you’re mean, and you spread it around. You get a chauffeur and you find yourself thrown around the back of this car and you think, I was happier when I had my own little car! I could drive myself! – Paul McCartney

In Conclusion

Well, as predicted, we weren’t successful in finding any quotes with the word driveways in them so let’s alter an existing quote instead. How about:

Cleaning your house while children are still growing is like clearing driveways before the snow has stopped. – DEFINITELY NOT Phyllis Diller

And to finish, the original of the above:

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. – Phyllis Diller

Until next time folks…